To heal our relationships and find real happiness we have to see a bigger picture than we normally see. That bigger picture is the recognition that we are part of a much larger whole from which there is no way to ever really be separate.

Mahatma Gandhi, one of the greatest visionaries in human history, clearly understood the bigger picture. He understood the interconnection of all beings, the significance of every word we utter, and the importance of every action we take. To transform ourselves and our world requires total integrity. It isn't enough to say beautiful things or to believe in lofty ideals. Gandhi believed we must become the embodiment of those ideals.

One day, while Gandhi was mobilizing millions of Indian people to peacefully rise up and resist British rule, a man ran up to him and begged, Gandhi-ji, please give me a message to take back to the people of my village. Gandhi tore off the corner of a brown paper bag, borrowed a pencil, and scribbled a short note: My life is my message, M. K. Gandhi.

Since I first encountered that story nearly forty years ago, I have regularly asked myself, What message is my life sending? What message does it give to my loved ones, to the world I live in, to my self? The way we drive, the way we talk to tellers in the bank, the way we treat the servers in a restaurant are all our messages to the world. Each is a statement of how much mindfulness and presence we have cultivated. Each is a statement of how much love we are willing to share. Each makes a contribution to how happy and healthy all of the relationships in our lives will be. And each makes a contribution to the overall atmosphere on our planet.

In each of our relationships, are we feeding more Love into the universe or more paranoia? Are we using our relationships with others to heal our planet or to make it worse?

The answers to these questions are immensely important. One of the greatest weaknesses in modern culture is our increasing tendency to abdicate personal responsibility - to ignore the overall influence of our thoughts, moods, words, and actions. We focus, instead, on the belief that other people and external circumstances are responsible for our moods and actions. When we act out, throw a tantrum, or behave unconsciously, we can always say, It was their fault. They made me angry. They deserve my wrath.

But when we commit ourselves to the spiritual path, we commit ourselves to taking responsibility for our own health and happiness. We begin to employ the practices and perspectives that bring our lives into harmony - so that our thoughts, moods, words, and actions will be those that naturally lead to happiness and peace. Gandhi's most profound statement about creating meaningful change was You must be the change you wish to see in the world. It is an absolutely revolutionary concept.

How much time and energy do we spend trying to change others, to get them to behave the way we want them to behave, to treat us the way we want them to treat us? How much time and energy do we spend trying to get others to believe what we believe, to think the way we think, to affirm that we are right and they are wrong? How much time and energy do we waste thinking that we cannot be happy until someone else changes?

But Gandhi said, so wisely, we must be the change we are looking for. He didn't say, Go out and preach. Go convert the unconverted. He simply said, Change yourself. That is the route to happiness. Ironically, it also turns out to be the most effective means of changing our world.

From the book One Soul, One Love, One Heart, Copyright 2009 by John E. Welshons. Reprinted with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA, 800/972-6657, ext. 52.
John E. Welshons is a highly respected contemporary spiritual teacher who lectures and leads meditation courses throughout North America. His workshops and lectures are offered in churches, hospitals, hospices, corporations, colleges, universities, yoga schools, and personal growth centers. He is also available for one-on-one consultations. John lives in northeastern New Jersey. His speaking schedule and more about him and his work can be found at his websites, www.johnwelshons.com and www.onesoulonelove.com.