A friend of mine named Ron recently told me a story that clearly exemplifies the beginning of the process of surrender.

About ten years ago, Ron was completely swept up in our increasingly fast-paced, self-centered, bad-mannered culture. He described himself as highly stressed and anxious - angry and aggressive most of the time. He said, I felt like I was constantly at war with everyone. At times he was seething with rage. Most mornings he drove to work right on the edge of his boiling point, ready to shout and scream or do physical combat with anyone who got in his way or even slowed his frantic momentum. He said, Most of the time when I was behind the wheel of my car, I was right on the verge of full-blown 'road rage.

One morning on his way to work, he found himself in an infantile tantrum. He was following a school bus, which kept stopping to pick up children. Ron was late for work. When the bus stopped one too many times, Ron exploded. He leaned out his window and started shouting and raving at the children who were boarding the bus and at the mothers who had escorted them to the bus stop.

The children were so sweet and innocent, Ron said. Their mothers were just being good mothers. And I was so self-centered, I actually perceived the way the children slowly and methodically boarded the bus as a direct offense, a direct attack on me and my obsessive need to hurry.

So I started screaming obscenities, and the children started crying. Some of them were grabbing their mothers for reassurance and protection. They were terrified. I was acting insane. Some of the mothers looked at me in horror, as if the next thing they expected me to do was to pull out a machine gun and start shooting.

Something in their expressions just melted my heart, Ron said. I looked at those sweet, beautiful, innocent children, and I suddenly realized that they weren't the problem...I was. I felt like I was on the verge of going insane. I was so caught in my own melodrama that I was terrorizing all of these incredibly sweet beings for no good reason!

It was clear that I needed help, Ron said. I stopped my tirade, took a deep breath, and apologized to all of them. I hadn't been to church in a long time, and I decided it was time for me to go the following Sunday.

As luck would have it, when I got to church the minister was giving a sermon that directly addressed these moments of anger and frustration in our lives. The sermon was called 'What Would Love Do?' The minister suggested that whenever we feel ourselves getting caught in anger, in fear, in judgment, in righteousness - in any situation - we should ask ourselves the question 'What Would Love Do?'

It's really quite remarkable, Ron said. That was a big turning point for me because I realized that just by asking that question, I had to surrender my self-centeredness and anger. I had to acknowledge that, at the deepest level, I am love, and that in order to feel love I have to surrender the parts of me that don't express it.

Ron concluded, The most remarkable aspect of that process was my recognition that surrendering was simply letting go of my own self-created misery. I realized that being in love just feels better. Being kind and compassionate and generous just makes us happier.

From the book One Soul, One Love, One Heart, Copyright 2009 by John E. Welshons. Reprinted with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA, 800/972-6657, ext. 52.
John E. Welshons is a highly respected contemporary spiritual teacher who lectures and leads meditation courses throughout North America. His workshops and lectures are offered in churches, hospitals, hospices, corporations, colleges, universities, yoga schools, and personal growth centers. He is also available for one-on-one consultations. John lives in northeastern New Jersey. His speaking schedule and more about him and his work can be found at his websites, www.johnwelshons.com and www.onesoulonelove.com.